That's What He Said

Back on August 21 it was announced to the press that U.S sitcom/mockumentary series The Office would end production after it's upcoming 9th season. Given that The Office is my favourite comedy series of all-time, I thought I'd be more upset about the news than I was. I'll explain why I'm actually relieved later in this entry, while I share with you just a few thoughts about the workforce of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, Scranton, PA and other general thoughts about America's greatest comedy.

Michael Scott: Or "Michael Snot" as alleged best friend Todd Packer once claimed

 

 

I'm expecting Season 7 of The Office in the post this week, so as difficult as it was to walk into my local DVD rental shop this morning and see it on the "Box-sets to buy" shelf, I only have to exercise patience for another day or two (presuming postal competence, of course). So far I am up to the end of Season 6, which is pretty bloody obvious, really. I don't go scouring the internet for brand new series, tempting as it can be given Universal's TV-to-DVD distribution arm Playback's lethargy in bringing us Region 2 dwellers complete seasons (Office S7 ended on US telly in May of last year, we're only getting it now). For years I have loved the excitement and anticipation of pre-ordering a film or TV series from an online retailer, or going into a shop and taking the plunge on an impulse purchase that ends up giving me hours and hours of viewing pleasure for years to come. So I sit, and purchase, and wait patiently for the release date that can often get put back time and again, for reasons never divulged to us mere consumers. Fortunately, I am not the sort of sad-act fanboy who, if he can't be as up to date as those across the Atlantic, will stick his fingers in his ears and yell out "La La La, I'm not listening!" at the first sign of any spoilers. Spoilers generally don't tend to bother me. Yes, I know who ends up taking the job of Dunder Mifflin Regional Manager at the start of Season 8, and I don't mind that, even though it will probably be another year or so before I get to watch that episode. Maybe it's because The Office is so damn rewatchable, and the more times you watch it, the more you remember exactly what happens and who says what to whom, and all the best one-liners and vox pop cutaways and so on. Of the six seasons I own as of today (seven tomorrow, touch wood!), I think I've watched each one a minimum of 10 times each, more times for outstanding seasons such as the second and third.

 

The one thing that really grinds my beans about British TV viewers is their arrogant insistence that the UK version of the show is far superior to the US Office. With the majority having never seen more than a handful of the US episodes, they in some sort of faux-patriotic ignorance claim that the original BBC series, on which the American version was originally modelled, is unsurpassed and it's Transatlantic cousin is a poor, phoney-looking copy of Ricky Gervais' early-noughties masterpiece. These people are entitled to their opinion, naturally. They're wrong, and they're grotesquely ugly freaks, to paraphrase Chris Morris, but they are entitled to spout whatever bollocks they like out of some sort of misguided loyalty to Gervais, a once-talented writer now so insecure and precious about his work, he didn't hesitate to block yours truly on Twitter for daring to give him negative feedback about his woeful recent Beeb effort Life's Too Short, an insipid, useless 6-parter that basically cast Warwick Davis as David Brent with dwarfism. Gervais, a man so British through and through, he fucked off to Hollywood the first chance he could get to see if he could simulataneously work his way into the A-List while offending his peers by telling near-the-knuckle gags about them at awards ceremonies. Ricky Gervais is, or rather was, a good writer and a funny man, and the UK Office had some blinding moments, in particular the beautifully-done climax to the Tim and Dawn unrequited romance arc in the final episode. But comparing a UK sitcom to a US one, even when they're basically borne of the same vaginal canal, is pointless. And if the naysayers would give the US Office a chance, they would see that it's no ordinary American comedy series.

 

The mockumentary style nicked from Gervais' original, means that The Office doesn't come across at all like your bog-standard J. Arthur sitcom, all laughter tracks and loud whooping from the audience when a favourite character enters a scene. The production and direction of Greg Daniels' adaptation means that you laugh when you want to laugh, cringe when you have to cringe, and in the workplace of Dunder Mifflin, it's the bizarre blend of documentary realism and often-cartoonish silliness that makes it addictive, laugh-out-loud telly. What other show on the planet could pull of something so utterly ridiculous as one of my all-time favourite scenes, where Jim comes to work impersonating Dwight, and it be not only gut-achingly funny, but also somehow believable too? Though that would never happen to any of us in real-life at our workplaces (present company excepted because I don't currently have a workplace), The Office has taken the time to let us get to know these characters, to feel how they feel about their co-workers. We know why Jim always pranks Dwight, and we love him for it. We equally love Dwight's petty reactions, because we know Dwight Schrute and have grown accustomed to his eccentric behaviour.

 

Indeed, when you talk about Dwight Schrute, you are talking about arguably the greatest comedy character of modern TV times. Michael Scott may have been the one-time Regional Manager and the star of the show, and his escapades rank up their as some of the most hilarious ever witnessed by viewers. But it's the fascistic yet somehow endearing Dwight who often steals the episode, with his on-going feud with Jim Halpert, his obsession with beets (or beetroot to us Brits) and his unquenchable desire to consistently be the top paper salesman in Pennsylvania.

 



Dwight Schrute: middle name "Fart" and a security risk. FACT.

 

Played brilliantly by Rainn Wilson, the good news stemming from Dundler Mifflin closing it's doors for good next year is that Dwight and his dysfunctional family are to get their own spin-off series The Farm, which means we will be able to witness the peculiar, pompous behaviour of Dwight for at least a little while longer. Speaking of the final Office series, it is also hoped that Steve Carell, who quit his lead role as Michael towards the end of Season 7, will reprise his iconic role as the childlike, inconsiderate but eternally-loveable former manager for at least one episode. I for one feel that the staff of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin cannot say a proper goodbye to it's millions of loyal fans without him being involved in some way. But time will tell on that one.

 

The general consensus of opinion is that The Office is ending probably at the right time, and although it could feasibly carry on for umpteen more years with a rotating cast, the show has lost a lot of it's steam and original quirky charm for the past couple of series or so. I always subscribe to the cliche of all good things must come to an end, and while I've not seen anything from Seasons 7 or 8 yet, from the reports, spoilers and tidbits I've read, this fine sitcom is finally running low on fresh ideas. We Dundler Mifflinites will always have the DVDs that, as I said earlier, are so fantastic you can never tire of watching them over and over again. The Office will never die, just like other all-time comedy classics like Only Fools & Horses and Frasier haven't. Can I recommend a favourite episode to those of you who are Office virgins yet to experience the weird universe of fictional Scranton? Not really, because there are so many absolute pearlers to choose from. But if I had to tell you to start somewhere that I know would get you as hooked as I am, I'd say forget the short first season for now (which many people slated at the time but has some brilliant moments) and start with the opener of Season 2 The Dundies, an office party with a difference.

 

I could sit here for hours more and ramble on about why I love The Office so much, above is just a few reasons why, and there are many, many more. I implore you to check out the series for yourself and give it a proper chance. It doesn't matter if it's American, British, or made by a naked tribe of Amazonian warriors, it is sheer comic gold. I must end this now, as I'm off for a long walk to the nearest post collection depot to pick up a box-set of 1960's psychadelic mindfuck drama The Prisoner (now there's another story!). Till the next time.

 

Follow me on Twitter: Jimmy Barnes

Five Perfect Pop Albums

Pop music. Today they are two dirtier words than saying "Fuck off" loudly in the vicinity of a nun. Pop in the second decade of the 21st century is all about reality television participants and digital downloads on iTunes and groups of young fans using social network outlets to spend their spare time either sucking up to their idols or criticising the fans of rival acts. The biggest pop stars on the planet as I write this now are Canadian arsecandle Justin Bieber and X-Factor losers One Direction. Perhaps I'm getting old, but I see very little merit in either acts, and even less in the rabid, uncompromisingly cringeworthy fans of each who shittify Twitter every day after school has ended with their "trends". Bieber has an adequate singing voice, but his music is sickly, over-produced drivel and for someone who has been proclaimed as the second coming of Michael Jackson, three albums in he is still yet to produce even one hit that has truly crossed over from the teenage girls' bedrooms to the general publics accepting consciousness. Indeed, his most well-known single Baby has the laughable distinction of being the most disliked video in YouTube history. As for One Direction, they have somehow gone from being thrown together talent show rejects into a Transtlantic phenomenon and arguably the world's biggest boyband right now. Their breakthrough hit What Makes You Beautiful is a reasonably likeable, but hardly awe-inspiring slice of bubblegum pop that wouldn't have sounded out of place in the charts ten years ago, but is somehow considered by any female under the age of 18 as a modern, relevent classic. 1D, as the abbreviation goes, now cannot go for a dump without it making headlines, and before their second album is released later this year, already there is talk among fans and media pundits about who will be the first to "do a Robbie Williams" and go solo. The smart money is on Harry Styles, the supposed "frontman" of the group, and with his scruffy haircut, shit-eating grin and tabloid-baiting relationship with the older (but not actually old, just seemingly ancient because she looks her age and Styles looks about 11) TV presenter Caroline Flack, he is the most well-known member of the teen ensemble. Having said that, I am rather sceptical about the predicted solo success of Styles or indeed any of 1D, given that they were thrown together in the first place on X-Factor by Simon Cowell because none of the 5 could cut it as a solo contestant.

But I didn't come here just to talk about current pop acts who I dislike, I'm here to let you all know that great pop music does exist out there. Pop music that doesn't care if it's trendy, or adored only by pre-pubescent girls, or looks good on magazine covers and posters. This is pop music from a bygone era, before MP3s existed, before even the World Wide Web itself. Yet it is music that you can listen to today and fall in love with regardless of who you are and what your regular tastes may be. Presenting to you now, the five albums I in my humble(ish) opinion consider to be perfect pop platters:

5. The Raw & The Cooked- Fine Young Cannibals (1988)

 

 

 

Fine Young Cannibals spun-off from the moderately successful British ska band The Beat, yet their sound couldn't be more different. The Raw & The Cooked was FYC's second long-player and catapulted them into being one of the biggest bands both in the UK and in the allegedly tough-to-crack United States market. Casual listeners will mostly be familiar with the massively radio-friendly single She Drives Me Crazy, with its funky beats blending unusually but effortlessly with rock guitar and Roland Gift's unmistakable vocals. The album is full of catchy gems, such as I'm Not The Man I Used To Be, a laudable cover of Buzzcocks Ever Fallen In Love and my favourite, the irresistably infectious guitar-driven Don't Look Back, which bizarrely was a massive hit in the US but stumbled in the UK when all other Raw singles had sold well.

 

Strangely, the album that put FYC over the top as a world-beating act was to be their last. Roland Gift decided to concentrate on his acting career, and the trio only reunited briefly in the mid 1990s to record a bit of new material for a greatest hits compilation. An album that effortlessly blends rock, pop, soul, funk and dance music from a band who shone in the spotlight only too briefly.

 

 

4. The Other Two & You- The Other Two (1993)

 

 

Certainly the least-known album in this countdown, which makes it not just a pop gem, but a near-undiscovered gem. Husband-and-wife duo Stephen Morris and Gillian Gilbert from the phenomenal alternative group New Order took time in the early '90s to do their own thing, and after the wonderfully daft-titled Tasty Fish (named after a sign in a chip shop!) just failed to break the UK Top 40 in 1991, the debut album of The Other Two finally arrived two years later, post-Factory Records implosion and only a few months after New Order's then-thought-to-be swansong, the slightly underwhelming Republic. It was claimed by Steve and Gill that Factory head honcho and Mancunian mogul Tony Wilson thought The Other Two to be "too poppy" for his avant-garde label, hence the two-year delay in new material, which was released on the new home of New Order, London Records.

 

The Other Two & You is a fantastic record, showcasing Gillian Gilbert's warm vocal abilities that were rarely, if ever, discovered in New Order, whilst retaining the effortlessly sublime electronic beats and noises that she and Stephen Morris had made an integral part of NO for the previous 12 years. A crime that even on a major label as London, the album didn't even chart and to this day remains beloved only really by NO diehards. The casual, radio-listening public needs to hear this record almost two decades on, in particular the second single Selfish and my favourite, the experimental album-closer Loved It (The Other Track) a bizarre yet addictive mixture of electropop and audio samples from a years-old Channel 4 documentary on New Order and Factory Records. Since The Other Two & You, Steve and Gill released a second album Super Highways in 1999, and have produced television themes for shows such as Cold Feet and Cracker. Oh, and Gillian finally rejoined New Order this year after an 11-year hiatus, too.

 

 

3. Very- Pet Shop Boys (1993)

 

 

 

Very was considered at the time to be the Pet Shop Boys "coming out" record, and yes, it was released around the same time Neil Tennant finally admitted what anyone with eyes and ears had known for years, that he was homosexual. PSB's previous offerings, classics in their own right, were mostly languid, downbeat, wry synthpop platters, but Very was confirmation to a jump to in-yer-face, unapologetically camp Eurodance that was taking, well... Europe by storm in the early-to-mid '90s. A celebratory album, energetic in it's pace and with some of the catchiest pop music you will ever hear.

 

The go-to track on the album for casuals is, of course, the uplifting cover of Village People's Go West that gave a new lease of life to the 1970s gay disco number and has been enjoyed in equal measure by clubbers and football supporters ever since. It's difficult for me to pick an overall favourite track on such a consistently joyous album, but honourable mention must go to Can You Forgive Her? (rather strangely, used for a time as the theme for all the goal highlights on regional ITV football show Central Sports Special), Liberation and the Hi-NRG One In A Million, which would later be medleyed with Culture Beat's Mr. Vain on PSB's promotional tour. Pet Shop Boys continue to make great music today, but for me, Very is the jewel in the crown.

 

 

2. Tango In The Night- Fleetwood Mac (1987)

 

 

 

Fleetwood Mac, what can you say about them that hasn't been said already? The affairs, the drug habits that have become so legendary, Pete Doherty asked each member for a paternity test (not really). But above all else, despite the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations, the sex and cocaine, the Mac have endured to this day as one of the finest pop-rock outfits in the last 40-something years. Tango In The Night was the last FM album to feature it's "classic" line up of Stevie Nicks, Lindsay Buckingham, Christine McVie, John McVie and Mick Fleetwood. And how appropriate that it is, in my opinion, their masterpiece, their legacy. Recorded under difficult circusmtances, thanks in no small part to Tango originally due to be a Lindsay Buckingham solo project, the end result is worth all the angst and heartache. Nicks' vocals have never sounded more haunting, Buckingham's lyrics tell of deep personal issues, and the two gruff old codgers John and Mick are there as ever, Mac mainstays, though I'm not holding my breath to see a Mick-Samantha Fox BRIT Awards reunion any time soon.

 

TITN has some wonderful songs: the sublime Little Lies, the Stevie-penned and very introspective Welcome To The Room... Sara, and the impossibly catchy Seven Wonders. But the outstanding track is one that I have to consider probably my favourite song of all-time by anyone, if for no better reason than I have it on my iTunes in various forms more than any other. Everywhere is absolute perfection from start to finish, the instruments, production, lyrics and Christine's vocal combining to create something that can never be surpassed. Fleetwood Mac were never the coolest band, they didn't try to be (well, would you if you had Mick "Lurch" Fleetwood in your band?...). Tango In The Night could never hope to sell as many copies as Rumours. But if you are looking for timeless pop-rock that will give you shivers down the spine and many, many eargasms, buy this record and you will fall in love with it.

 

 

1. Electronic- Electronic (1991)

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross The Smiths with New Order, with a little bit of Pet Shop Boys thrown in for good measure? You get the last decent album Factory Records ever released, the first standout LP of the 1990s, and my Number One Perfect Pop record. Electronic started life in the late '80s when Bernard Sumner of New Order was planning a break from his main band, and Smiths' guitarist Johnny Marr was at a loose end a couple of years after their split. An alternative supergroup was formed, and Neil Tennant joined on vocals for debut hit Getting Away With It, considered at the time to be the best single released in 1989, except for maybe Morrissey, whose morose lyrics Sumner and Marr were allegedly satirising. Sounding not much like New Order, and even less like the Smiths (but quite a bit like PSB), fans were instantly hungry for more Electronic, but in typical Factory style, they would have to wait two long years before the eponymous album. Fuck, it was so worth the wait.

 

Electronic is an absolute masterclass in how to make good pop music, it should be required listening for anyone with so much as a passing interest in the genre. The housey thump of Reality, a fantastic collaboration with Pet Shop Boys for Patience Of A Saint, a funky first-person commentary on Manchester's notorious crime problems Gangster, the album is fresh, tuneful and compelling from start to finish. My favourite track has to be the addictive house effort Try All You Want. Electronic really was one of those albums in which every track (probably barring Soviet, it being a 2-minute mid-album interlude) could have been released as a single to great acclaim. Electronic even sold quite well in the US, and Sumner and Marr had firmly established themselves as a hip, talented supergroup in stark contrast to all the hairy, smelly dinosaur supergroups of the '70s and early '80s forming out of passe and often dull progressive rock groups. Electronic were the supergroup for the Ecstacy generation. Their next album Raise The Pressure in 1996, largely a collaboration with Karl Bartos of German synth pioneers Kraftwerk, was much anticipated by fans, and disappointed a fair few of them for being an inconsistent sounding piece of work where heavy guitar laden tracks laid down next to thumping Eurodance tunes. But that album also had some infinitely glorious moments on it, too. Electronic made making pop music look almost effortless, and possibly by accident, their first album could be argued to be even better than most New Order long players. A controversial argument, to be sure, but whatever your feelings on the New Order vs. Electronic debate, Electronic remains 21 years later, the perfect pop album. Go out and find it, I promise you won't regret it.